Rachel Zoe: “Shut it down at the Oscars”

October 14, 2008 at 11:15 pm Leave a comment

I’ll be honest. I absolutely adore Jennifer Garner. So, when I saw that tonight’s episode of The Rachel Zoe Project featured Rachel picking Jennifer Garner’s dress(es) I was just a little excited.

The Rachel Zoe Project

The Rachel Zoe Project

Too bad I had to sit through 4 minutes of the same clips before we even get to Jen. (Note to Bravo: yes, viewers do notice when you reuse clips because your “starlet” is, well, a broken record. Instead of cheating me of those five replayed minutes, show me something funny– like Taylor yelling at Brad. Or something.)

To me, the first fifteen minutes of a show makes or breaks whether or not I let the tivo “accidentally” fast forward past moments of the show, or, if I strategically sit there and zip past the commercials. Let’s break this week’s first fifteen down:

Whoa moment: Brad is 30? Really? Wow. I’m not sure if I expected him to be older or younger, but yeah. 30.
Tired moment: “The Fairy Princess” Oscar de la Renta final gown. We’ve heard Rachel order Brad to “get her that gown,” we’ve seen it on the Fashion Week episodes, and in all of Rachel’s flashbacks. We get it. You LOVE the OdlR show stopper gown. Yes, it’s gorgeous. Yes, the detail is fantastic, and yes Oscar KNOWS fashion and dresses. But seriously– let’s move on… please?
WTF: What is with this “Jerome” guy– Rodger’s assistant. He reminds me of Spencer Pratt or Brody Jenner– the lame filler that just wants some airtime. I wouldn’t be shocked if “Jerome” magically appears on the arm of a celebutard in the near future.
And the Oscar goes to: Taylor for her overly dramatic freak-out about Brad not having taken the garment bags out of the car. Yes, Taylor, we all know Brad works at a snail’s pace and sometimes isn’t the brightest, but give the kid a break. They’re garment bags.

Ahh, and that’s only 15 minutes in. Rachel Zoe’s saving grace? Another Jennifer Garner moment, where she’s her goofy, fantastic self. (Did I mention I adore Jennifer Garner?) Cue another moment of Rachel talking about how clients resist any dress she “pushes” so she switches to passive aggressive mode and pushes the “fairy dress”– again.

After watching this week, I’m becoming convinced that Rachel Zoe is the top stylist not because she has an exceptional talent (though she is talented and puts together some fresh outfits), but because she has all of the shops loan her nearly everything so no one else can have it. She’s the little girl at school with the crayons, drawing gorgeous vibrant pictures, while all the other children are forced to draw with the brown crayon.

Cut to Taylor pouting saying “the job comes first, being Rachel’s friend comes second,” juxtaposed with Rachel’s giggling and Taylor’s river of profanity, followed by Taylor storming out and Rachel completely oblivious to the world.

Throw away moments: Rodger “spoiling” Rachel, yet again, shopping for a vintage Porsche for Rachel. Yes, that’s a great idea– let’s spoil the spoiled. Taylor saying “I won’t ever leave Rachel because I have Jewish guilt, even though I’m not Jewish.”

All of this is followed by more pouting, more drama, more replayed clips. Brad saying he’s oblivious to Taylor being upset with him, Rachel giving in to Taylor’s tantrum, Taylor complaining about Brad not knowing how to do things that she never told him how to do, Brad screwing up, blah blah blah.

Rachel’s gotta learn how to “yell” at people– her lecture of Brad? Not really a “give ’em hell” speech. However, Brad still finds a way to burst into tears and into a bumbling mess. Ahh, he cracks, and Rachel cracks, and swallows her ego. Brad continues to cry. Yes, Brad. You should feel bad. You screwed up. Hardcore. And Rachel, way to go on throwing Taylor under the bus. And then? Brad quits through text. Then comes back Awesome.

Moral of the story, I’m keeping this episode on my tivo not because of Rachel Zoe’s “fabulous” personality and picks, but because Jen and Taylor stole the show. I guess you could say, Jen “shut it down”– but she’s the only one who delivered a semi-entertaining performance. (Let’s not pretend this isn’t acting). Favorite Jen moment? Her description of the “Fairy Dress”– “the nude color was just a little… nude color… for me.” Atta girl. Oh, and Taylor, your tantrum and non-apology apology was pretty good too.

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Entry filed under: Bravo, culture, Fashion, Rachel Zoe, What I'm Watching. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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